When was the last time you spent time alone with your spouse? Now I don't mean time alone in the car running from one event to the other. Or, time vegging on the couch after a long day watching television together. I am talking about real time out together like you used to do when you were dating. Can you remember the last time you went on a real "date" together?
Every year I do a survey of couples in our church to get a feel for the issues people are struggling with. Year after year I have found that next to communication, time is one of the things couples in our church struggle with the most. Of course without time you really can't communicate well so time could even be the contributing factor to miscommunication between many couples. So, in an effort to help you begin to build into your marriage and shape the direction of your relationship instead of just reacting to the many issues that get thrown at you, I want to recommend that every couple schedules some kind of a dating time together.
Now I know when I say that you immediately think you have no time. Besides, getting a sitter is expensive. And, where would I even find a sitter anyway? And, there really are no convenient times to go out at night with other obligations and kids activities, etc. How in the world can we ever make this work?
What I have found in my own marriage is the need to think outside the box when it comes to dating my spouse. We have three boys in elementary school so getting out at night is a challenge. So instead of having a traditional date at night, we date on my day off which happens to be Friday, and we date while the kids are in school. We usually drop off the kids at school, go to Starbucks for coffee and to "catch up" and usually have lunch instead of dinner together. This allows us to get the time we need alone and fits into a hectic schedule that three boys can bring. So being creative with when and how you date is vitally important.
In the next article I will give some questions and things to talk about on a date, but in the meantime why don't you share what you do for your own date night to help others who may be struggling with the time issue. What kinds of things do you do to carve out time together? List your ideas in the comments section below.
