When couples are asked to list the things that cause stress in their marriages, money always comes up in the top five. There is something about money that causes issues for people no matter what their marital status. Add another person who you share your earnings with and now you have a major source of discussion and debate. What is it about money in a marriage that causes so much stress? And, how do you begin to talk with your spouse about money in a way that both partners understand one another and can move forward together?
Start with You
When it comes to talking about money, it is important to have a handle on your own triggers, goals, and ideas on how to manage it. Before you talk to your spouse about money ask yourself: How do I feel about budgeting our money? What things do I typically spend money on that I could eliminate if need be? What are my goals for our money? Are those goals realistic? Or, are those goals built around my own agenda for what I want?
Consider Your Spouse
Once you have had a chance to wrestle down your own thoughts and feelings about money, it is important to begin to think about your spouse and how he/she views money. Does your spouse share your views on money? In what ways would my money habits cause my spouse anxiety? How good of a job do you do of communicating about money to each other? Where would my spouse say I mishandle our money? The more you understand where your spouse is coming from the better your conversation about money will be. Like other areas of your marriage, understanding your spouses perspective will go a long way to avoiding blow ups and conflict when it comes to discussing money.
